10. Table for One? (feat. Sylvia Githugu)




In this episode, I am joined yet again by my sister, Sylvia, as we ring in the new year. This episode we discuss tons of things, like our New Year's Resolutions, lessons we learnt in 2021 but mostly we discuss the art of being alone, especially as single Black women.


The Difference Between Alone and Lonely


Many people have said it before but it has to be said again that we need to stop correlating the state of being alone and being lonely. The former is associated with a state of being and the latter with an emotion. So while you can be alone and lonely, you can also feel lonely in a crowded room, amongst friends, etc.


I think within the craziness of life it is important to have, catch, enjoy these moments alone with yourself. As an introvert, I find it is my time and space to re-charge my social battery, to catch up on Netflix shows I've missed but also - when intentional - it is time to reflect. It is time to figure out what I need, what I want, how I am feeling etc.


However, I am aware this mindset is a privilege as not all people are alone by choice or have the option. Additionally, in advocating being alone, I am not saying isolate and ignore your friends and family. Being alone needs to be in moderation and I know I'm learning to communicate with those who I love when I need them and when I want to be alone. I guess what I'm trying to say is find the balance that actually works for you and change it when it doesn't.