Could it be? Could it be when the Scooby Doo crew remove the mask of the villain that the villain is me?
(And I could have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for you meddling kids.)
In this episode, I am joined by one of my favourite people in the world, my cousin, Irene Kibuika as we discuss self-sabotage.
Psychology Today defines self-sabotage as behaviour that "creates problems" in our daily lives and "interferes with long-standing goals."
Sabotage, Mind Tools defines, is the "act of destroying or undermining something, often in a covert manner" but it "direct and deliberate [...] on the part of the saboteur." In combination with the self, self-sabotage are the consistent "negative habits" that, at first, we don't notice, but psychologically harm us.
This episode is a really good continuation from the previous mini episode on self-awareness; it builds on our ever evolving understanding of the self. For me, my "Oh dang, that's deep" moment, from this episode, came when I realised that self-sabotaging behaviours develop as defence mechanisms. These behaviours were once behaviours necessary to protect the self and, whether we want to really admit it to ourselves, those behaviours did protect us. Those behaviours did try to keep us safe, the intention - it could be argued - was pure...
Self-sabotage is deeper than just being this two dimensional cartoon villain. It would be too easy to just accept the definitions listed above but there is more. There needs to be accountability but also compassion applied to ourselves when we notice these behaviours.
And this conversation with Irene taught me that.
Irene is honest and candid during the course of this episode. She allows us to see a glimpse of her journey as she moves away from these self-sabotaging and people pleasing behaviours. She is vulnerable in sharing how these behaviours have hindered her in the past but also how hard it is to walk away.
So are you a self-saboteur?
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Music by:
Matthew M. Moore
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Site: matthewmmooremusic